There is something that scares me about being successful. Isn’t that a strange feeling? Or maybe it isn’t the success that scares me, maybe it’s the failure. I did have one failed business before, not in the same industry of course, but it definitely left a scar. I’ve had plenty of great ideas in the past, like Mandy’N’Munchkins, a paleo treat business. Or better yet, starting a café under that same name, where you can eat all sorts of paleo sweets. Each cookie was going to be related to women problems such as the “pms” cookie or the “heartbroken” brownie. I know, I know, it still sounds awesome lol! I think I will have to make a batch soon to remind myself how good it all was haha! Maybe it can be the next recipe I put on the blog, ladies? I should name one “the mommy breakdown”. lol I seem to be making myself laugh this morning. My husband is also jealous and says “maybe you should actually make me something”. Anyway, back to failure. The fit mom blog and Buns&Bottles were two projects that scared me a lot. Heck they still do! I constantly have the fear of failing, or wondering if I’ll be good enough. But I realized after launching my first class and starting this blog that being scared isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It keeps you sharp and attentive and forces you to better yourself. After seeing what my moms looked like throughout their training, and the positive response from all of them, I knew this was exactly where I wanted to be. I realized that the fear came from my passion, it came from the fact that I care with all my heart about this project. My drive to help people on a daily basis is what keeps me going every single day. That is why I do what I do. And I have to learn that fear is normal and the day I stop fearing is the day I should revaluate my “why”. My “why” is you, ladies, reading my blog. My “why” is you, mommies, that joined my Buns&Bottles class.
About my first 10 moms. We all started with a little mom talk where we sat down, introduced ourselves and our babes. We spoke of our experience during pregnancy, delivery and post partum. We shared our joys and some of us even shed some tears, a super important process of healing from the inside out. One of the great benefits from Buns&Bottles. Some of these ladies have trained with me before, other had never trained at all, and some had done Crossfit in the past! Go moms! I think there’s nothing cooler than a fit mom and I want to be the one who gets you there! One thing is for sure, most of the moms hadn’t trained since baby! For example, there was Jen, who’s youngest is five years old, and finally decided it was time to get back into shape! On the other hand, there was Melissa who plays soccer all while being a stay at home mom to a three year old and an 18 month old! What a super mom! And what about six month preggo, Amri, who smashed the workout! The beauty of the class was that no matter their background, they all united as one powerhouse. They all watched each others baby’s so everyone can finish their set. They all encouraged and supported each other. Most important of all, they gave 150% and it showed in their sweat and smiles.
That was the most important part for me, their smiles. In that moment, I was me again. All that searching, all that wondering when I was going to find myself again, all that blockage I’ve had was fading away as the time went by in that little hour. When I started this blog a few weeks ago, I said all I could hope for is to help turn around a mother’s life for the better. Or maybe, this project was to help myself. And it already has. I find a purpose to stay up past 8:30pm now. I find a reason not to go home and sleep because I am tired. This project gave me a reason to believe in myself again. It gave me my ME TIME I’ve been longing to have.
I truly believe that making yourself happy is not something that should be neglected. Life is not only about work, or being buried in mom duties, or making sure the house is spotless. Hell, life is about experiences, memories, happiness. My husband helped to show me the “f*ck it method”, like not washing the floors this week GUILT FREE, so that we can enjoy a relaxing Sunday together. Memories and happiness is what will keep us going in life with our heads held high and our hearts full. What good comes from a clean floor if your marriage is going to suffer? Why does my daughter have to suffer from me being overworked? Anyways, we may not realize that we get lost in our mom bubble, but I am more than sure that your children and spouse would be much happier with a batch of cookies rather than a clean floor! Right babe 😉
Moderation and putting in some me time are two things I am constantly trying to achieve. And oh boy, do I think I have it all figured out sometimes and then it comes crashing down lol! But I guess that’s what life is isn’t it? A constant evolution of one’s self.
So, for the moment I found my moderation and me time by giving up some cleaning to start my business and I have you to thank for that. To the 10 moms who came to my first class, you helped me find a part of me again without even knowing it. I am not scared to fail anymore, so thank you! I know this is exactly the path I am meant to be on at this very moment. It reminds me of one of my favorite books, The Five People You Meet In Heaven, by Mitch Albom. Worth a Read.